something about the sea

[rsndn]

hi. i posted this on the old forum as well, but no doubt, nobody ever saw it. not that it's much of an important thing anyway.
i've been working on this story for 4 years, and there isn't really much in it, i'm not a professional writer by any means.
it's not a sci-fi either, it's mostly about fish and nothing happens at all, but maybe someone can relate to it. and if not, sorry to have wasted your time.

>> a good win (pdf)

[knmburton]

Your story definitely has atmosphere! It also drew me in enough to want to finish it. Do you have any plans to finish? I'm wondering what's going to happen with Anthony and Evelyn. While I know it's in draft form, it's still an interesting read. I vote that you continue.

[rsndn]

i do hope to finish it one day, but at the rate of a chapter every 2 years it will take at least another decade.

[Ken]

Here are a few things for when you get around to the 2nd draft in 2022

You definitely set a mood, create an atmosphere, use nicely descriptive language. Your ability to paint pictures with words should be more than sufficient reason for you to write more.

As far as creating a finished, polished story...I think the biggest thing would be to find a consistent voice. You slip and slide--sometimes it seems to be Anthony's PoV, sometimes 3rd person omniscient. Pick and stick because each shift pulls the reader out of the story and you don't want that happening. Everything other problem I had can be fixed by editing--correcting tense usage, fixing grammar mistakes, reducing wordiness--there are a few bits that would be much more evocative if you streamline them, get rid of the extraneous words. That said, there's no section of the story that feels unnecessary, it's just finding the perfect tone/beat for individual sentences.

As for not being a professional writer...well, nobody is before they start

[rsndn]

thanks very much for the encouragements. i'm already glad somebody took the time to read it and didn't get too bored by it, seeing as there isn't much happening.
i'll have a draft of chapter 6 (and 7) up soon i guess. this time i didn't take me 2 years to write

[rsndn]

an update of some sorts

i'm afraid part 3 and 4 will be put inside the refrigerator for an undetermined time.