Today is book-signing day. Twelve hours of signing books for friends, family, and complete strangers (and those of you that qualify as all three). Your support determines your rank. Here’s what you can do, and what it qualifies you for:

Admiral Fans: Show up tomorrow and cry in front of strangers, telling them how absolutely divine this book is, how it saved your life, and then buy three copies in the loudest manner possible.

Captain Molly Fans: Show up with tear-filled eyes, tell me you loved the book (even if you haven’t read it yet), buy one copy and stammer a bit when you ask me to sign it.

Navigator Cole Fans: Realizing you can’t show up because you live 500+ miles away, you spam your entire FaceBook account in the hopes that some of your friends live closer. You refresh the Molly Fyde Fanclub Group to see if the membership is going up.

Engineer Edison Fans: Skipping the awkward and personal, you find out how to use the Internets to order a book from a distance. But you can also think of three people in Charlotte who might want to drive down, and you give them a call.

Supply Officer Walter: You log on to Amazon and write a glowing review, even though you still haven’t read the book. Then you go back to your videogame and assume you did more than any of the other ranking officers.

Here’s the schedule again, all locales in downtown Monroe, NC:
7-10 Alice Jules Coffee
11-2 Oasis
4-7 Blu-Moon Cafe (with Martini Night following!)

This is it, fans. The book release is official. Man your stations and prepare for blast-off!

(and check the webcam now and then, just in case things get…fancy)