Book Signing Day!

Today is book-signing day. Twelve hours of signing books for friends, family, and complete strangers (and those of you that qualify as all three). Your support determines your rank. Here’s what you can do, and what it qualifies you for:

Admiral Fans: Show up tomorrow and cry in front of strangers, telling them how absolutely divine this book is, how it saved your life, and then buy three copies in the loudest manner possible.

Captain Molly Fans: Show up with tear-filled eyes, tell me you loved the book (even if you haven’t read it yet), buy one copy and stammer a bit when you ask me to sign it.

Navigator Cole Fans: Realizing you can’t show up because you live 500+ miles away, you spam your entire FaceBook account in the hopes that some of your friends live closer. You refresh the Molly Fyde Fanclub Group to see if the membership is going up.

Engineer Edison Fans: Skipping the awkward and personal, you find out how to use the Internets to order a book from a distance. But you can also think of three people in Charlotte who might want to drive down, and you give them a call.

Supply Officer Walter: You log on to Amazon and write a glowing review, even though you still haven’t read the book. Then you go back to your videogame and assume you did more than any of the other ranking officers.

Here’s the schedule again, all locales in downtown Monroe, NC:
7-10 Alice Jules Coffee
11-2 Oasis
4-7 Blu-Moon Cafe (with Martini Night following!)

This is it, fans. The book release is official. Man your stations and prepare for blast-off!

(and check the webcam now and then, just in case things get…fancy)

3 responses to “Book Signing Day!”

  1. 9:00. I’ve been at Alice Jules for two hours. Sold twelve books (I think, my accounting method {stone-cold-memorizin’} isn’t the most reliable).

    Fun watching the caffeine-addicted come for their morning fix. I feel like I’m sitting on the porch of a legal crack house. Only sadder.

    *sipping on his fourth coffee*

  2. Wow. I just had a lady RUN up to my table with a wild look in her eyes, a track of dried drool running back across her jaw.


    I wondered how she already got it. And in hardback. And with Nicholas Sparks’s name on the jacket.

    “You want me to sign THIS book?” I asked.

    She looked over at my books. “You’re not him, are you?” She tapped Sparks’s name. It wasn’t even one of his good books.

    She left, pretty pissed at me, to be frank. And no, she wasn’t interested in my vastly-superior novel.

  3. Okay – that had me rolling with laughter!!! Much funnier to read than experience, I’m sure. But all the same, sooooo funny!

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