WOOL Shirts! (not made with real wool)

I’ve only got a few designs up so far, but rest assured that more are coming:


A few notes about the shirts:

#1: I don’t make a penny from these. I chose the lowest price CafePress would allow, which is the cost of the shirt plus printing.

#2: There’s printing on the back of these shirts, which adds to the cost but not nearly as much as it adds to the badassedness.

#3: I have no idea why their dark shirts cost ten bucks more. If you want to represent the Mids and sport the “Farmer” shirt, you’ll be one of the select few among the select few.

#4: I have yet to read TWILIGHT or THE HUNGER GAMES, but I’ve gathered from the discussions ad nauseam that the dream of every young reader is to be torn between two equally choice mates, and instead of just making up his/her fucking mind and being happy with one or the other, he/she spends anywhere from three to five books being absolutely fucking miserable and whining his/her precious little head off about the pros and cons of potential spouses when any reader would gladly settle for either. Picking a “team,” then, is to really pretend to give a flying fuck which suitable mate the idiotic hero/heroine picks, which makes the vacillating and bitchy decision-making process that much more unseemly. In the real world, you’re lucky to find one person, your soul-mate, and have them not die a miserable, asphyxiating death on the dusty side of a post-apocalyptic hill. The real “sides” you choose are where you live, where you work, the people you associate with at work, where you hang out after you finally, blessedly, get out of frickin’ work. Hence these t-shirts. Pick your side. Choose your team. And for Jeebus’s sake, if you ever have more than one choice mate digging your goods simultaneously, read the Book of Mormon and enjoy eating and having that yummy cake.

26 responses to “WOOL Shirts! (not made with real wool)”

  1. The shirts are fantastic!

    And comment #4? I <3 you for it.

    1. Really? I thought tomatoes were gonna start flying… -_-

  2. dude. I always get twitchy when people assess books they haven’t read. While I’d say you lucked into an accurate depiction of TWILIGHT, you missed on THE HUNGER GAMES — a good series that deserves better. ;-)

    ION, I hope we can get some PACT Approved buttons or totes… items for those of us who don’t t-shirt.

  3. I’m not even going to talk about “Twilight,” because it doesn’t deserve to be talked about. It can die in a fire. Worst garbage I ever read in my life, and I HAVE READ THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY.

    As for THG, I frankly do not believe that it “deserves better.” I think that Suzanne Collins should be loudly and publicly acknowledging and thanking the giants upon whose shoulders she stood to “borrow” *cough* the themes of her books (which btw really should’ve been one stinking mid-sized novel, but that’s an argument for another day), starting with Shirley Jackson (“The Lottery”), and including Stephen King (“The Long Walk”) and Scott Westerfield (“The Uglies,” “The Pretties”) and many, many more. If you have read much 20th century literature at all, you find yourself, as you read Collins’ work, thinking, “I’ve read this before…” and that is because YOU HAVE. Nonetheless, the first installment is definitely worth the time… they go downhill from there, but it’s an engaging enough story that you want to know what happens, so you do keep going.

    This is a topic that has been on my mind since reading Hillary Jordan’s “When She Woke,” essentially a nearly scene-for-scene retelling of Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter,” but set in an entirely plausible dystopian near-future. There is a lengthy epilogue in which the author thanks and acknowledges pretty much the entire universe down to single-celled organisms that so much as touched her in passing while crafting this novel, and she gives Hawthorne about half a sentence in passing. It annoyed me. But it was a goer of a book, I reckon. *shrug*

  4. Also, my 9-year-old began “Twilight,” and tossed it away in favor of more Neil Gaiman (hooray!) when she got to the part about Edward sneaking into Bella’s room and watching her sleep at night. Her words: “The dude was STALKING her and breaking into her house at night and instead of calling the police, or her DAD, she FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM? What the heck?” I’ve clearly done something right as a parent.

  5. Yippee! I am having quite a dilemma deciding which one to order though…

    1. I had to get two. Couldn’t pick a team, either. :(

  6. Birthday is in two weeks and this/these (i dont know how i could be happy with just one ) just went to the top of the list!

  7. If I had to pick a “team” it’d be Down Deep. But if I were actually a Silo resident, it’d be “farmer” all the way. Pardon me while I go feed the chickens.

  8. I might have to get 2 as well. I will have to decide later. Also, I agree with Pfoinkle- you definitely need to give Hunger Games a chance, but don’t waste your time with Twilight.

    1. I’ll give it a chance. But I’ll probably wait for the DVD. ;)

  9. I’m still waiting for my Sheriff shirt to be available…

    1. Sheriff, Supply, and a few other designs are upcoming.

  10. All YA dystopian literature has a girl choosing between two boys. It’s the worst part about reading any YA literature even though I love the stories. I refuse to read Twilight, but I’ve read all the other popular YA novels and there are some real gems. The classic YA dystopian novel for me though is Lois Lowry’s The Giver. No romantic themes in that one- just thought-provoking storytelling. And I know I should be writing about the awesome shirts, but I felt like weighing in. Also, your advice on life is great.

    1. And I think you’re great.

  11. I think that if you want to target your YA fiction to a wide swath of young women, you almost have to have the romantic tension to help the female readers place themselves in the story (looking back, there was a reason I read Nancy Drew–Ned!–and not The Hardy Boys). I’m sure part of that is cultural, but maybe the cultural serves as a lens to direct us where our genes would like us to go. It’s not that EVERY young female reader would be more entranced by a female lead WHO HAS TWO GUYS WANTING HER, but I think more would than not.

    Speaking of, I read an interesting article today: http://life.salon.com/2012/01/24/dear_female_students_stop_writing_about_men/singleton

  12. Please forgive the ignorance. Im new to the site and im sure this has already been answered but why are the books called “Wool”? Can’t wait for wool 6!

    1. Oh, let me count the ways!

      1. People clean with it.
      2. The “Wool” can be pulled over your eyes.
      3. People can be sheep-like in their tendencies to follow and not question.
      4. Ever heard of being “fleeced?” That happens to people and sheep.
      5. The letters W.O.O.L. actually stand for something. The clue is given in WOOL 5.


  13. Damnit, you just don’t know how to stop being awesome, do you?

    I do wish they were button up work-type shirts.

    My husband was bitten by the Twilight bug once (sigh, don’t), so I hurried up and gave him yours. I know, I’m a saint.

    1. You are a saint. And I’ve tried not being awesome for a day. It didn’t take.

  14. @MHodziewich While I mostly agree, not all YA dystopian literature has a girl choosing between two boys and not because they all don’t always have a lead female, take Divergent by Veronica Roth and Legend by Marie Lu, (I would recommend both to anyone who like YADL) yes, there is a love interest but both only contain one love interest, also… (Maybe not YA… but hay…) Take ‘Half Way Home’ as an example… but yes, Twilight = teen fantasy about girl being fought over by the two “Sexy” monsters… it’s just the authors wettest dreams all rolled into one long ass story…

    Also, I found THG boring and predictable… But the above mentioned Scott Westerfeld stories I loved…

    Also… I want an IT one… (I am studying Programming at the moment but just finished a general IT course… XD)

    1. Nice! An IT fan. :D

      I love Scott Westerfeld. His adult and YA stuff. Fantastic writer.

      And really, I have nothing against any of these books. I was just being snarky and trying to elicit a chuckle or two. ;)

  15. On a side note, Divergent is awesome. Read it if you have time.

    Otherwise, I am thinking about being Juliette for Halloween. I know, I know, a little premature, but it would be fun dressing as someone that people would have to ask about. And then I would have another excuse to promote Wool.

    1. Love it! Pictures if you do, please! :)

  16. “And really, I have nothing against any of these books. I was just being snarky and trying to elicit a chuckle or two. ”

    Hugh, you’re not heeding the warnings in Wool! You’re letting all these Woolites post chit-free, encouraging them to discuss dystopian-somethingorother books. You’ve made the expression free thought way too cheap. Next thing you know, there will be mutiny in the hughhowey.com silo.

    As a farmer, I know I’ll at least have something to eat when it all goes down.

    1. When this all goes up in flames, it’ll be my fault, I’m sure!

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