I have fans! Who knew?
I would like to thank the two sharp-dressed gentlemen that stopped by this evening. I really wish I could remember what agency you were from, all I recall is your badges looked like tricky Scrabble racks.
I’m extremely honored that you found my blog and took an interest in my story… it’s only been in the public domain for three days! Excellent job in monitoring the airwaves, I must say.
Next time, if you want to come inside, just ask. Really, I mean it. No need to shove a judge’s signature in my face and terrorize my wife, just knock on the door and accept my hospitality.
Speaking of my wife, she would like her first-generation Kindle back. Or buy her one of the new ones. We’re still trying to figure out what you’d want with her collection of vampire novels.
Oh, and best of luck in going through those videocassettes. Like I told you earlier, they are part of a giant prank. Millions of pages of gibberish. Promotional material for a science fiction novel. I would like them back when you are done with them, and yeah, I’m very impressed with the trunk capacity of your Ford LTD, I never thought you’d get them all in there.
So… continue reading along. I’m sure you’ll find what I have to say interesting. Just keep in mind that none of it is real. I promise.
And visit as often as you like–as long as you don’t look on top of the ceiling fan in my office…