A Squid, a Pebble, or a Policeman

The main character can’t die at the end of chapter one!! C’mon.

24 responses to “A Squid, a Pebble, or a Policeman”

  1. Love Mitchell & Webb. And any time I think of the main character dying early on, I go to Feast, where the “Hero” dies immediately.

    1. Explain “Feast” please. I’m intrigued.

      1. Feast is a horror flick that has two sequels and gets progressively more ridiculous. I think it started out as a part of the “Project Greenlight” show, but I can’t be sure. It is marvelous in how awful it is.

  2. It wasn’t at the end of Chapter One, but it WAS pretty early on and a shock to the audience since she was a big star: Alfed Hitchcock’s movie “Psycho.”

    Also, Drew Barrymore in “Scream,” and that one WAS at the end of Chapter One.

  3. Oh I get it! This guy’s the new AU spokesman, right? Or no wait! Not that.

    1. But maybe if we write a letter to Amazon… Only it’s not Amazon… but what if it is?

  4. I always remember “Executive Decision”, the movie, when Steven Segal died about 15 minutes in, I was surprised a major star would be killed off that fast.
    There is also the English tv series “In the Flesh” where the main character is dead before the show even starts, lol.

    1. It was done to show that any character could die at any moment.
      Then noone else died. :-D

  5. I think we just saw how JJ Abrams brainstorms new Star Trek scripts.

  6. Love this. Sounds like the inside of my head.

  7. I love David Mitchell, and was a bit sad to see him going on about Amazon’s “Rapacious near monopoly” and “the monopolistic, cynical and frankly life-crushing way that they operate.” during his Bookseller’s Association speech.

    He’s an admitted luddite though, so I suppose he’s got to ludd.

  8. […] Stealing this from Hugh Howey. Serious laughs. […]

  9. I actually did write that book. I mean, not THAT book, but yeah, with the squid. Just not with the squid part, or Sarah.

  10. […] stole this from Hugh Howey.  Great […]

  11. … yet this is what happens to me every November when I do Nano !

  12. I’m looking up all of these. I collect things that are so bad they are good. Shatner’s solo album is at the top of the list.

  13. I’m hiding behind a pen name because I had the (not) unusual experience of selling a book under contract to a respected small-hour imprint distributed by Orion in London (credible, ok?) and then halfway through the editing heard the publisher say, ‘Can you rewrite the book without the protagonist? I don’t like him very much.’

    Yup. Been there. She didn’t want to kill the main character in Chapter One. She wanted to publish my book without the main character altogether.

    1. Fearless Reader, that’s hilarious!

  14. And here I thought this crap only happened in Hollywood. As someone here once said, in a similar situation: “You don’t do King Kong without the ape.”

  15. The main character dies at the end of Chapter 1?
    Isn’t that what happens in Wool? ;-)

  16. Imma write a book called “The Main Character Dies At The End of Chapter One.”

  17. This one of my favorites. I quote this all the time.

    I love Mitchell and Webb so much I bought the UK DVD’s and a region-free player, so that I could watch the 5 minutes worth of skits per episode not available on the Netflix versions.

  18. Just love this, love Mitchell!

  19. thanks for the interesting post!

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