The Price of Freedom

We were sitting on a friend’s porch, looking out over the ocean. The fence that holds back the dunes had an American flag affixed to it, held straight by a sea breeze. If asked what that flag meant, a thousand strangers would no doubt list some words in common. My guess is that “Freedom” would rank near the top, joined there by its synonym, Liberty.

Freedom is outright worshipped in the United States. It is craved everywhere, of course, but usually without thinking long on what that worship means. We do not really crave freedom. We only think we do. And this lip-service to a dangerous ideal creates far more problems than it solves. It’s a viral concept that has gotten us sick with unreason. We ought to inoculate ourselves to it.

The truth is that we are constrained at all sides, and this is for the best. Freedom would mean a life free of law and regulation. Freedom would mean drinking and driving if one feels like it, or running down the streets naked, or the ability to blast music at all hours, no matter what our neighbors think.

All civility, morality, law, and ethics lie in the gray area where one’s freedom begins and another’s is encroached. The only true freedom would be a world with a lone occupant, who could never disturb another, could never trespass, steal, even annoy. That is not our world. In our world, we cannot pollute, because all rivers lead to the sea. We cannot disturb the peace, because the peace is not ours alone. We share each other’s spaces, and this means there are far fewer things that we can do than those we cannot.

We are not free. This is a truth that must be accepted and then celebrated.

Let’s begin with acceptance. Sitting there on a friend’s porch, feeling as free as an open beach can make one feel, I pointed out that not one of us could stand up, take off our clothes, and go for a walk. The moment we did, an unspoken mutual compact with our neighbors would be broken and gears would spin into motion that would lead to our arrest and some subsequent fines. The most free thing of all: to take a stroll across the sand in the garb god gave us, would have us thrown in jail. We are free to sit with our clothes on. We are free to keep our music at sensible levels. We are free only to sit on our own property or that to which we’ve been invited. The scope of our freedom is narrow. There are only so many things that we are allowed to do. There are an infinite number which we cannot.

Accepting this is easy. Relishing it is more difficult. But let’s try for a moment.

I had a friend who did not like my view that our wills are not free. This is another illusion that we maintain, the idea that we can choose any action or thought at any time with no restrictions placed upon us. Free will does not exist, which I impressed upon my friend by asking her if she could choose to stop loving her husband. Could she, sitting there with him as we sipped our coffees, strike the love from her heart with zero provocation? Could she do it with the might of her supposedly free mind?

“Why would I want to?” she asked.

“To prove that you’re free,” I said. “You’re welcome to resume loving him immediately. Just try.”

The point was that we are as powerless to stop loving someone as we were powerless to stop ourselves from falling in love in the first place. And who would want such freedom? It would mean that our partner had no influence on how we feel about them, and just as sad, that our behaviors and choices had no influence on them! It would mean that our love for each other was cold choice, rather than an interplay of cause and effect in which our wills had little role to play.

If love is a choice, then it not only can be switched on and off on a whim, but it arrives with either a randomness or a calculation. The truth is that you had no freedom, and that lack of freedom says marvelous things. It means our actions and behaviors matter, especially to those who matter the most to us.

We have a difficult time appreciating the narrowness of our freedoms. We have an even more difficult time understanding just how that narrowness defines us.

On the beach that day, I discussed this with friends, and my partner brought up the freedoms some have that others do not. The disparity of our freedoms are stark in America today, as many cannot even feel safe on our streets because of the color of their skin. None of us are truly free, but some of us are freer than others.

Equality. That’s often what we mean when we cry for freedom. We mean the same rights as others, not the absolute freedom to do whatever we want. Equality means that whatever rules one person sets, the other gets. If congress grants healthcare and raises for themselves, then we the people ought to get healthcare and better wages. If a CEO expects no one to dump trash on his yard or shit in his pool, then we expect their chemicals to stay out of our streams. It’s the Golden Rule, the basis of all rational morality. We don’t wish to be free in our own actions; we want to be free from the ill actions of others. I won’t trespass if you won’t. I won’t steal if you won’t. Let’s both agree not to drink and drive. Treat me as I want to be treated, and I’ll do the same for you.

The outright worship of Freedom with a capital F takes us away from this morality. The same folks who fetishized freedom when they balked at the appearance of seatbelts now balk at the idea of wearing masks. These are the people who abhor regulations in general, when regulations are what allow drinkable water, paint free from lead, ozone holes healing themselves, lungs free from asbestos, and countless lives saved from myriad improvements to our cars and homes. It is not our freedoms that define us; it is the freedoms we gladly relinquish in this social compact with our neighbors.

One of the things I miss most during this pandemic is shaking hands, that warm embrace, the smallest and most benign of bodily hugs. It is said that the handshake was a way of showing our neighbor that we carried no stone nor axe. We come unarmed. The hypothetical freedom we might have to take another life is agreed by almost all to be abhorrent. It is not something that we want, and by shaking empty hands we flaunt our relinquishing of that freedom.

It is the freedoms we forego that define us. It is the choice we make to buckle up our kids, to work those extra hours to better provide for our families, the choice to spend our time on our chores rather than our leisure, or to go out of our way for our loved ones. It is the choice we make to not take advantage of others, to grant every stranger the gift of our compassion. The negative space of freedom is responsibility. Which is why the worship of Freedom with a capital F has made doucebags of so many.

Language is important. Words have heft. We use so many words out of habit without ever having long conversations with ourselves and others on what we mean by them. Where does morality come from? Is it absolute or does it sway? Is it objective or subjective? Who decides what’s right and wrong? And how do we structure society to make it as perfect as humanely possible?

Is freedom a good thing? What does it even mean to be free? There are so few things that we are allowed to do. In this moment, there are only a few living rooms I could walk into right now. There are very few places I could go undressed. At this hour, there would be consequences if I made too much noise. And my girlfriend expects me to be the kind man she knows me to be. My choices are squeezed down into this delicate space of lying in bed with my thoughts and my writing, our feet entangled, this city slumbering, all that I am because of how I’m not free. I would not want it any other way. What I do want is for everyone to have the same opportunity to be as equally unfree as I am.

It begins with an unraveling of stale ideas. Freedom is a word we should learn to abhor. It is a word full of chaos, anarchy, selfishness, nationalism, and trodding on the rights of others. There are better words for what we mean: Equality. Peace. Understanding. Compassion.

I know full well that this suggestion will rile up most readers. We live in a world where many do not have the freedoms the rest of us enjoy, and decrying the word may seem a place of privilege. But we also live in a world where other countries are far freer than the United States. Countries where a medical condition will not bankrupt, and where kids do not have active shooter drills at school. These are differences that require specific language and conversations, not the smothering blanket of Freedom. Because the worship of that word gives license for abuse from those with ill intentions.

It’s hard to argue with someone who claims the right of freedom to be an awful human being. Because we’re the ones who have given that concept undue power. Taking away that power forces the same douchebag to enunciate what they really mean. “I live in a free country” no longer gives cover to awful decisions once we are honest about how very few freedoms we really have and the fact that our ability to give up freedoms is what makes us civil and moral. When we equate freedom with incivility, we hear these people for what they really are.

Consider for a moment the people who are truly free to do what they want, whenever they want, without regard to the consequences of their behaviors. These people are sociopaths, psychopaths, or children who have yet to fully form concepts of civility. They are bullies. They are people with zero conscience. They would be my friend if she were truly able to stop loving her husband simply by the flick of a mental switch.

The worst people among us are the most free. It’s why sociopaths rise to the top of corporate and political ladders, because they are free to make choices that the rest of us cannot. I wonder how many of you agree with these last two paragraphs and have always noticed this? So why haven’t we equated a measure of freedom with a measure of evil before? The two go hand-in-hand.

Once again, because it bears repeating, the freedoms we give up define our morality. Think of the people we most look up to in terms of moral virtue. They are those who sacrifice much to walk a narrow path. Our usual stand-ins for virtue are the Ghandis, Christs, Buddhas, nuns, priests, saints of the world. It’s the things we choose not to do as much as the things we choose to do. It’s a turned cheek. An empty stomach. A vow of silence. An empty hand.

When I hear the word “freedom,” I cringe. I hear someone claiming sin is a virtue. I hear someone justifying their sociopathy. Be specific. Talk about voting rights. Talk about equality. Talk about equal pay. Talk about caring for the homeless. Talk about your ideals. Don’t give fodder to people who want freedom from consequence, freedom from consideration, freedom from the social compact that constrains us in the best bonds possible.

We are not free. And that’s a good thing.

22 responses to “The Price of Freedom”

  1. Thank You!

  2. You have such a beautiful way of stringing ideas together. Thanks for sharing these.

  3. Great post Hugh. I’d like to hug you after this one. If only our politicians could see things your way we’d all be much better off!

  4. “The negative space of freedom is responsibility.” That’s it, in a nutshell. Words have heft, indeed, Hugh. Thanks for this post.

    1. Such a great line, right?

  5. Hugh,
    This came along at the perfect time. Lately I’ve had to tolerate an avalanche of stupid and was starting to think it was going to win over me. I’m to the point that I am willing to travel hundreds of miles just to have a civil fact-based conversation. Unfortunately Covid has prevented that. I’ve endeavored to persevere, but that sailboat I’ve been thinking about is starting to look less like a retirement dream and more like an escape pod. I envy your ability to flee this self-destructing country. I may have to adjust my schedule, but I’ll wait until Jan 20th to decide.
    Great post. Keep um coming. Please.

  6. Teddy Witherspoon Avatar
    Teddy Witherspoon

    You said it. I agree. Thank you.

  7. Very insightful! I’d never thought of morality as being freedoms we willingly give up. Something to chew on. I appreciate that gift.

    1. Vickie Boehnlein Avatar
      Vickie Boehnlein

      The only real freedom any human being has is their choices. No where does that freedom to choose guarantee a lack of consequences for those choices-for yourself or others that your choices impact. Morality is not given to us by gods or man but is only proven by our choices. Freedom of choice cannot be taken from us but our choices can be coerced. Most of the time that coercion is benign such laws that protect you from bad choices of others, but when the coercion is not benign but dictated by immorality, greed, or those that strive for power then we must hold fast to our freedom of choice even if faced with negative consequences. There was a time that people came to the American continent in search of a life free from the risk of death or imprisonment for choosing to live in a way that their government forbid. Those people did not refer to freedom as a lack of laws but did formulate limits to the laws the government could enact. Only someone who doesn’t understand American history or constitution would believe that freedom equaled the right to do anything you want without consequences.

      1. The constitution granted the freedom to own other human beings. The United States was founded on the eradication of indigenous humans. Your idea of American history and the constitution are precisely what this blog post is about.

        1. The constitution has been corrected.

          Now, at long last, POC are being heard; joined by light skinned people who have been “WOKED”. There is still so much left to do before everyone is looked upon as equal… sometimes, I’m so ashamed of my beloved America.

        2. Vickie Boehnlein Avatar
          Vickie Boehnlein

          Somehow you apparently took my post to be a praise for the history of the USA or the constitution. It was not. I was merely responding to the idea that some view the concept of freedom to be the idea that you can do what you want without consequences. We all have freedom to make our own choices, from the oppressed women and LGB people living under radical religious regimes to modern 1st world democratic countries. However the consequences of those choices are vastly different. The idea behind the modern concept of a “free” representative republic was not chaos and anarchy but one where the will of a monarch or dictator could not have you killed for speaking out against them. Equating the idea of freedom as written in the USA constitution as the freedom to do what you like without consequences is foolish.

        3. Swoon. Love this reply Hugh

      2. Truth – as I read this post I noted the absence of any immigrants being mentioned, immigrants who would have a different opinion of what “Freedom” means.

        Other than that, I pretty much agree with what was written. Not fully, but mostly.

  8. Totally agree. There’s a great book that looks at this notion of fairness and freedom in two otherwise culturally similar countries – New Zealand and The United States of America. I would much rather live in a fair country than a free one. Because fairness provides most of the ‘freedom’ that really matters.

  9. I would argue that freedom and responsibility are two halves of a whole.

    Responsibility is essential to live in a world with other people, period. Freedom is the best way to discover that, but on its own…

    It’s the same problem Worf pointed out early in Star Trek Next Generation, when he first met a fellow Klingon who glorified battle for its own sake:

    “Nowhere do you mention honor, discipline, loyalty! Without which a warrior is NOTHING!”

    We need freedom. But if we think that’s all we need, all we have is anarchy.

  10. It is always refreshing to read the depth of your philosophies on simple but complex topics. Freedom… it flows out of our mouths so easily, yet there is a complexity to this word that could fill volumes of books and shelves.
    Freedoms equate to consequences, both natural and of made by man. One is free to choose to stick their hand on a hot stove, but they are not free of suffering the natural consequence of being burned. We are free to make the choice to remove our clothes and walk down the street, but we are not free of the man-made laws that would cause us to be arrested. Laws made because one choice was felt it took away the freedom of another.
    Are we free when it comes to love? Love… another complex word which falls out of our mouths easily. Combine the two….
    Freedom to love
    Love of freedom
    History has shown the freedom to love has been ruled by law. The love of freedom is ruled by personal interpretation on what freedom should mean and laws are then made to dictate that personal interpretation, forcing others to follow, regardless of whether they agree. Those in power dictate the definition of freedom. Those without power, have the choice to abide or to suffer the consequence.
    In the end… our only freedom is in our ability to choose what we allow to entertain in our mind. Thoughts may arise, but it is our choice to dwell on them. Our only freedom is in our willingness to learn to understand our emotional response to what life brings our way. To understand oneself, is dictated only by the choice one makes to take the time with oneself to understand the simple question of, “Why?” “Why did this statement, event, individual cause me to fell _______?”
    To be free… we must first learn to understand… it must begin within. We must be willing to go on our own Wayfinding journey to discover ourselves.

    Thank you for a refreshing and stimulating journey of thought.

  11. Bravo Hugh. Well said. Freedoms extend from his to just before something we will effect. My freedoms to listen to music are tempered by your freedoms to have peace and quite. We compromise, we negotiate. What our country is quickly forgetting is that freedom and liberty do not permit selfish behavior, they allow for civility and compromise.

  12. I am sobbing…my heart and mind are calming. All the jumbled thoughts that have been bombarding my brain for the past 4 years have been put into the words I never seem to have. Thank you…for being you.

  13. Gosh, Hugh. One of the best essays I’ve ever read. I continue to be impressed with the quality of your mind and thoughts. Wish this essay could be read by a broad swath of our fellow troubled Americans.

  14. Couldn’t even finish reading this. Utter nonsense.

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